Speak Your Mind Friday

i feel like such a follower...but this was started by 2 indivduals and Fee did it....my turn lol

Sooooooo....ive been knowing this guy going on 4 years.....how we met and his name will not be mentioned....anywho we were n a relationship for 3 months then things got shaky so i called it off...we remained friends even though i thought we'd never speak again...he was tried the getting back together game but i wasnt having because i was hurt....then he finally gave up...i wanna say about a year later he pops back up with the story of how no one ever compares to me....which is a given...no cockiness...lol...so yeah....senior year of highschool...i was in desperate need of a promdate...i didnt want to go in the first place.....its an overrated experience that costs wayy to much....so i ask him to b my date and he accepts....so i pretty much presented him with another opportunity of being with me....i let my guard down because im still young and only have once life to live only but i assured myself that this time i wasnt falling for him.....i just went with him just for fun...its wrong but i didnt care....its just felt good to have someone to talk to and care about and other things in that matter....we would b on the fone for hours....one time we had a 5 hour discussion about why he should get my name tatted....now he has a thing for tattoos....he has them and he likes females that have em too....mind u i have NONE....so he put this whole scenario into deep thought....because i am a good convince-er....anyway time goes on....and now im graduating.....he was supposed to but now its postponed until the summer....he told me he got me something for graduation...he showed up and everything....too bad i didnt see him that day....he was pretty frustrated and upset but i couldnt b held accountable since he doesnt have a phone....later on i learn what my gift was....i wonder if u alreadi know tho....my name on his chest....i wasnt even happy about it....it just showed how easy it was to get what i wanted and how we were not compatible...dont get me wrong i understand he loves me and cares...but this wasnt fun...if i manipulated him to do such a thing imagine the other things i could get....i begin to feel as if i was using him.... let i didnt plan to fun jump lol....i alreadi knew he wasnt going to do anything to hinder the relationship being that this was his "last chance" so i was gonna have to b the bad guy...sorry if im borin u i just had to let it out this time....so without a doubt in the mind i wasnt feelin him...i hadnt been anyway since our 1st break up...the entire time i was playing with his heart....i called it quits...which wasnt the easiest thing in the world...but that didnt do much...we still talked...until he stopped calling...and i learned he had found someone else....the catch is the new female was pregnant...yep he cheated...again lol....sooo i pretty much hated him even tho she lost the child...and as time goes on he goes to go to girl and then back to me saying how im his 1st love and he just wants things to b right...idk y im talkin about it now but like he really expects me to move backwards....i tried to the hate/ignore approach, the we can only b friends approach...and even u need to move on cuhz im never gonna take u serious hint play with your heart....nothing is sticking....it frustrates me but makes me feel good at the same time...he still calls me til this day just wantin to talk and expressing how much he misses me....he isnt doing anything with his life and alreadii is a lost hope from his dirty actions...right now i can POSITIVELY DEFINATELY SURE lol he isnt for me...i wonder how long b4 he gets the picture....for now im ignoring all of his calls this started yesterday...lol...i never call him or do call backs...so with due time he'll be out my life right?...well thats the plan....too bad i actually have to keep his number stored this time so i wont accidentally answer...but yeah....that kid is something else....everyones human tho